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2006 Boxing day

This years Boxing day football match between the Old Gits and Young Whippersnappers has been caught on video and photos. To see the photos please click here.  Below is the vidoe evidence and match report.  Enjoy.

Jimmy Green's Penalty
The referee scoring
(Callum aged 11 years old)
preceded by a mean tackle
by Shane
Young Whippersnapper penalty

Old Gits 4: Young Whippersnappers 2

Forget the World Cup Finals, or the Ashes, or even Phil ‘The Power’ versus Raymond Van Barneveld, the most eagerly waited sporting event of the year was once again played at Bere’s own ‘Theatre of Nightmares’ on Boxing Day. The press were out in force (well, Alice Evans and her camera!) as well as the WAG’s (Whippersnappers and Gits) to witness a Boxing Day feast of football i.e. leftover turkeys and mincer pies.

Sadly, a few stalwarts were missing from the Old Gits team this year. These included Lyndon White (due to a double hernia), the Moss Bros. (double vodkas) and the late (tackling), great (bellied), Macca (treble Scotch). This was, therefore, the strongest team they have had for many a year! Stars included Jimmy ‘Ever’ Green; Shane ‘Over The’ Mooney; Terry ‘The Motor’ Vater; Chris ‘The Gingerpounder’ Osmond; Pip ‘Good’ Evans (are you sure even Dean’s shirt doesn’t fit!);  Graeme ‘Over’ Price(d); Chris ‘Scoram’ Oram; Earl ‘The Pearl’ Dacre; Adey ‘and The Tramp’ Moore; and Darren ‘The SlapHeadmaster’ Spivey.

The Young Whippersnappers were taking things just as seriously, bristling with both Saturday and Sunday team superstars. Added to this was the return of the legend that is Stuart ‘The Physiotherapist’ Moorse and Ryan ‘ The Oftenpist’ Pettitt (thankfully, his better looking and playing brother was not available!). They had even added two of the next generation of Bere superstars, with AJ Gale and Nat Scott hoping to follow in the path of their illustrious sporting parents (all the way to the bar!). As ever, the redoubtable Peter ‘Bin’ Larder filled the goal in a way that no other keeper can, thankfully there was no boot inspection before the match!

….and of course there was the referee, a certain young Callum White, who admittedly is the son of one of the Old Gits but was in no way biased towards them (and I have a team of lawyers waiting for any Young Whippersnapper who says otherwise!).

This had the makings of an absolute classic and the crowd were not disappointed!!

The opening moments were as finely balanced as a set of Enron’s accounts, with the enthusiasm of the youngsters more than matched by the alcohol-fuelled oldsters. With Earl, Scat and Pip in the middle of midfield for the Gits there was little room for finesse, or indeed any other players! However, any team that features Hewitt, Moorse, Pettitt, White and Gale was not going to be kept at bay for too long and the old timers were forced to work hard. Indeed, for the first time ever Graeme Price managed to get his shirt dirty, although we suspect that this was just wiping his muddy hands on it. Meanwhile, Shane Mooney threw off his cool veneer and was showing as much control in the tackle as a Richard Hammond emergency stop. One particular tackle caused howls of outrage from the youngster’s mother on the sideline, not the first time Shane’s tackle has caused this I’m told! The only jewel in the clowns was, surprisingly, Alan ‘Giggsy’ Lambert hugging the Old Gits left touchline. Bearing in mind that last year his pace was such that when I typed his name in my report the Thesaurus automatically came up with ‘pedestrian’, ‘snail’ and ‘sloth’, this transformation made the old Lazarus trick seem easy. At every opportunity, he teased and tormented the defence like an Iranian executioner, although I am not sure Giggs ever quite panted for breath like that afterwards! It was soon obvious that the first goal would be crucial and, thankfully, that goal went to the Old Gits.

Controversy is certainly no stranger to these games and rumours abound that it was only thanks to a biased referee that this goal was allowed. I have now watched this many times on the video replay (available on the Bere Regis Sports Club website  by Clicking here) and I am utterly convinced that the cross could not be avoided by the referee as he accidentally buried it into the far corner past a hapless Larder. However, before you could say ‘Stu Moorse is a football genius’, he showed us what we have been missing over the past couple of years with a couple of shimmies and an unstoppable left foot screamer for the equaliser.santa In the great Aussie tradition, the old timers had obviously goaded these young stingrays a bit too much and they proceeded to dissect the defence with consummate ease. It was good to see Paddles rolling back the years in goal with a display that had us all remembering why we had brought him to Bere in the first place (because Dean was injured, as I recall!). With half time fast approaching the Old Gits needed a crumb of comfort and this was provided by none other than Shane Mooney. Having somehow found his way into the opposition’s penalty area a particularly heavy challenge (well, heavy for a youngster!) caused him to collapse quicker than your average McCartney marriage and the referee had no hesitation in pointing to the spot, despite howls of protest from the whippersnappers. With the legendary Macca unable to take up his normal penalty taking duties, the poisoned chalice was passed to Jimmy Green. Cooler than a freeze-dried cucumber he calmly slotted the ball home and the Old Gits went in at half time a goal to the good.

After stocking up on their winter warmers in the changing rooms, the Old Gits trooped out expecting an onslaught. Their fears were not helped by the sight of the likes of Shaun Cope wandering out for the second half having finally got rid of the Christmas hangover, or so he thought! A far more worrying sight for the defence was the sight of none other than  Kevin Cox between the sticks, more Petr Fied than Petr Cech I would say!! These fears were soon realised as, in a huge break from tradition, the referee controversially gave a dodgy penalty to the whippersnappers, presumably because he forgot that we had changed ends. Either way, Triston Gale stepped up to the spot and dispatched the penalty with ease past the fledgling keeper. The team’s prospects looked ropier than Saddam’s neck, until the dynamic duo of Spivey and Moore decided to switch to a more orthodox Boxing Day back two. tight shirtThey were hugely helped by young Sam Allen running the line and showing all the dedication to the cause of a Russian linesman. As this stout defence kept the youngsters at bay, the team could concentrate more on attack. With the game balanced on a knife edge the goal that changed the game came from the unlikeliest of sources….Graeme Price! A precision corner from Rob White found the shiny head of Spivey and his unerring header was stopped on the line. As the ball was frantically lashed away from the line, Graeme was far too concerned with protecting his face to avoid the ball and it rebounded off him back into the goal. The youngsters were, obviously, distraught and it was only a matter of time before the old men delivered their coup de grace. Another well deserved penalty decision gave Jimmy Green the chance to double his tally. Thoughtfully, he gave us the chance for one final comedy moment as he, surprisingly, decided to chip the goalkeeper. The execution itself was more Keystone than Cantona and he could only chip the ball straight into the welcoming arms of Peter Larder. Thankfully, in the great West Ham tradition, Peter spilled it straight back to him and Jimmy made amends with a smart finish.

 With the smell of the bar proving unbearable for both teams the referee was soon persuaded to blow the final whistle.

Honour had been upheld by the Old Gits once again and all is right with the world!!

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