Match Reports for 2000-2001 Season

End of season Sunday:

West Quay 5: Bere Regis 2

The last game of the season pitted Bere against the runaway leaders and all round bad boys, West Quay Marina. A patched up side, including some players still carrying injuries, feared the worst as they lined up against the crème de la crème of Dorset football. The manager urged before the game the need to keep things tight for the first half, to ensure that West Quay were frustrated by a solid defence, to ensure that no matter what Bere did not concede an early goal. With this in mind, Bere held on for a whole two minutes before West Quay scored their opening goal, a deep cross that found one of two West Quay players at the back post. If anything, this worked in Bere’s favour as West Quay relaxed and Bere started to play the pretty football (well, we do have Bungy and Rob in the team). Dan Vater started to find chinks in their armour and could easily have equalised on two occasions. But you cannot afford to waste chances against teams of this calibre or you are soon punished. Two power drives from the Dorchester Town player and a lob that Paddles waved goodbye to ensured a 4-0 lead at half time for the league leaders. Then, to add injury to injury, Bere’s leading scorer and all round wunderkind Dan Vater was subjected to off the ball brutality once again. In a penalty area fracas Dan learnt the invaluable lesson that you do not swear at someone who is as wide as he is big, it causes blood to appear from your nose and face. Not surprisingly, Paddles was less inclined to protect his son this time and more inclined to use the ‘serves you right’ approach that parents use when psychopaths are involved.

The second half was a strange affair as both sides seemed to go through the motions. With the game won West Quay were less inclined to play as hard as usual, whilst Bere couldn’t wait to get back to the special beer promotion at the club for the last game of the season. Mark Gale pulled one back thanks to a strange penalty decision. West Quay pulled ahead once more with an easy tap-in and could have scored again as Paddles lost the use of his hands for a while and patted the ball to an onrushing West Quay player who blasted the ball high and wide. Bungy put the icing on the cake for Bere with a power header that ensured Bere at least won the second half and could leave the field with heads held high, thus avoiding the smell of dog muck everywhere.

An average season by Bere’s recent standards finishing fifth, but with West Quay and Semaphore promoted Bere are eyeing the top spot for next year.

End of season Saturday

Bere Regis 1: Kingston Lacey 1

Against Kingston Lacey, the switch from an away fixture to a home fixture threw all Dean's preparations into disarray in switching his wing backs, packing his defence, varying the main thrust of his if. Even so, Bere wanted a win to keep clear of the relegation dogfight below them and so with an attacking formation went straight for goal when what they should have gone for was passes, finding the opposition more easy to find than their own team. However, Bere soon found their range and the Kingston keeper wos soon quite busy, foiling Sean Cope on several occasions.

0-0 looked favourite for half time, until a hopeful shot from a Kingston player found the back of the net and Bere were one down. Bere pressed hard in the second half but the Kingston defence held out against enormous pressure, much like the manager's belt. Eventually, something had to give, and fortunately it was the Kingston defence. A goalmouth scramble gave Tony Lumsden a squint at goal and he needs no second invitation. With no side showing any real adventure in the closing minutes a draw was a fair result.

Linthorpe 0: Bere Regis 1

A switch of venue for Linthorpe sent Bere to the welcoming arms of Turlin Moor; a place that even Ronnie Biggs would not want to return to. Linthorpe appeared to have shrunk from the team faced earlier in the season, must be all that rain, but with the wind at their backs they still kept Bere camped in their own half for most of the first period. Restricted to long range efforts only, Dean easily gathered in any shots on target and with the score at 0-0 at half time Bere looked favourites to take all the points.

So it proved in the second half as Bere controlled the game through flowing football and could easily have scored 3 goals in the first 20 minutes. It was left to 'Gloves' Rogerson to win the game for Bere with a 25 yard thunderbolt that crocked through the Linthorpe defence and left the keeper no chance. Bere's often brittle defence toughened up in the last half hour and Bere travelled home with all three points and virtual safety in the league.

Kingston Lacey 2: Bere Regis 1

Tired and worn out after a long hard season Bere dragged themselves into this game and promptly wished they hadn't. It would be nice to say that the manager was rotating the squad on this nothing game, but he wasn't. It would be nice to say that the game was a great spectacle from start to finish, but it wasn't. The only redeeming features of this game were the goal by Gary Watts, a fifty yarder by the end of the night, and the fact that it was the last game of the season. A long hard season finally finished and I am sure that Dean is already thinking of the squad for the first game next season, or dinner, which ever is the more interesting.



Bere Regis 3: Lytchett R T 4

Against Lytchett the Saturday side once again faced a perennial problem as Lytchett played most of their first team instead. Atrocious weather and pitch conditions did not help, but with the league secretary in charge of the whistle there was little likelihood the game would be called off. Lychett commanded the first half and with the score at 4-1 at half time, with Sean Cope’s goal being the only shot Bere had, the manager was expecting the worst. However, with nothing to lose, Dean did more reshuffling than a one handed card player at half time and, surprisingly, this produced results. Dean swapped himself for the injured Paddles in goal and brought on Sean ‘Emmanuel’ Pettitt to shore up the defence. Having kept Lytchett at bay Bere struck blood with 15 minutes to go as Adam was felled in the area and Mark Miller received an unexpected birthday present in tucking the penalty away. Adam was unstoppable now and created another present, this time for Ricky Cummings who took the through ball in his stride and calmly tucked the ball away. Lytchett were now as desperate as Lee Bowyer’s lawyer, but managed to cling on in the closing moments to leave Bere as pointless as George Grahams’ Tottenham shirt.

Handley Sports 0: Bere Regis 3

At some point in the season it was all going to come together for the Saturday side and Handley was the game. Bere needed some points to avoid being dragged into the relegation dogfight and with Handley below them this was just the team to do it against. Dominant throughout Bere never looked in trouble and a rare clean sheet was the just reward for some stout defending and a menacing midfield display. Meanwhile, the forwards set about scoring some quite spectacular goals to take all the points. A 25 yard effort from Sean Cope gave Bere the lead, only to be eclipsed by a 30 yard effort from young Rogerson that was still rising when it hit the net. Ricky Cummings put the icing on the cake with a point blank header from a pinpoint cross and a team performance to be proud of.


Bere Regis 3: Windgreen Corfe Mullen 2

Forget Alton Towers, forget Disneyland, forget even a ride in Frenchy’s car….for sheer white knuckle excitement and thrills look no further than a trip to Bere Rec on a Sunday morning to support Bere Sunday side. A game of two halfs, if ever there was one, Bere certainly left it late to collect all three points in this game. The main problem was the start of British summertime and the clocks going forward one hour. It is easier to get a French farmer to holiday in the Lake District than it is to get the Sunday players up on time for the game, and it came as no surprise to see only 10 players starting the game on this particular morning, including a slightly out of condition Sunday manager. But with the promise of Paddles and Ginge to come Bere tried to weather the storm in the first half against a Windgreen team bristling with Div 1 players and with the wind at their backs. An aerial barrage of NATO proportions ensued and Bere defended as if their lives depended on it.

Windgreen’s first goal owed more to luck than skill as Kev Cox, trying to emulate a certain Man U full back, deflected the ball past the luckless Dean Rogerson in goal.

It was soon after that the manager noticed a certain sheepish looking ginger haired individual standing on the sidelines and urged him to get his kit on in his own inimitable fashion. This evened the game slightly, but Bere were still up against it and they conceded another unfortunate goal when a shot that was destined for Dean’s safe hands hit a divot and bounced over him into the net. Luckily, Paddles arrived to steady the ship and Bere kept the score down to 2-0, despite a strong penalty appeal late in the half.

The second half belonged firmly to Bere as they pinned Windgreen into their half and kept them there for almost all of the second period. As the half wore on it looked like it would be one of those games where Bere could not find the net again. Even the prolific Rob White missed two gilt edged chances and with twenty minutes to go Bere looked down and out. But a free kick on the edge of the area gave Bere hope and it was left to Ginge to grab the opportunity (and the ball from Mark Gale), with a spectacular curling shot that the keeper could only push into the top corner of the net, although we could have done without the ‘Ricky Martin’ dance afterwards.

Soon after Bere equalised, a precise free kick from Rob White found Bungy in space and the keeper could only watch and admire. Windgreen realised they were in trouble and tried to attack, but with the wind against them the long ball tactic no longer worked and the midfield and defence simply stifled anything they tried to do.

From this point on there could only be one winner and it was left to Rob White to apply the coup de grace. A neat one two with Kev Cox and in a race with the keeper there was only going to be one winner, especially since Rob had almost sliced him in two moments earlier in a dubious ‘50-50’ challenge. A rare headed finish from Rob and Bere were home and dry. With the back three looking more comfortable as the game wore on Bere played out the final few minutes in style and continue their long climb up the league for a potential third spot.

Bere Regis 1 Bovington Challengers 5

Faster, fitter, leaner, quicker, hungrier… I am not talking about Bere, but the Bovington team that came, saw and conquered them. The cream of the English army came to give Bere a lesson in the art of football and Bere, unfortunately, let them. It also did not help that Dean Rogerson had a mare of Red Rum proportions in goal. Two nil down at half time was just the start as Bere let in three more before Wayne grabbed a consolation goal at the end.

Corfe Mullen RBL 1 Bere Regis 1

Bere certainly needed to pull their socks up for the next game against third placed Corfe Mullen. A midweek game was unlikely to furnish Bere with their strongest team, given that Bere’s first choice keeper was unlikely to make it back from Heathrow on time, but the skeleton squad on show were certainly good enough to give Corfe a run for their money.

The first half was most memorable for some delightful pass and move football from Bere as they ran rings around their more fancied opponents. Chris Oram, in particular, took great delight in teasing and tormenting the opponents with some silky touches and quick feet. It was no surprise when he found the net midway through the half, drilling the ball through a crowd of players and into the net. In a game short on chances, Bungy powered a header against the bar via the keeper, whilst Dean made amends for the previous week with an outstanding point blank save. Bere could easily have finished two goals to the good at half time as Rob White cut through the opposition and, with only the keeper to beat, cocked the trigger on his trusty right foot when…..the ref blew his whistle for half time, a decision that eventually proved costly.

The second half was virtually all Corfe Mullen as Bere’s inferior fitness proved their undoing once more. Despite some heroic goalkeeping from an inspired Dean Rogerson, Corfe eventually found the net and celebrated as though they had won the title.

Although there were a couple of half chances at either end, the game petered out to a tame finish and Bere wearily left the pitch to lick their wounds and lift themselves for the next game in three days’ time against the multi-national Marconi team.

Bere Regis 3: Marconi Comms 1

With energy levels severely depleted, Bere faced the Chelsea of the league, Marconi Communications. With tans that would put even Bungy to shame they looked fitter, younger and healthier than the average Bere Sunday player, but then again so do the Teletubbies . However, looks are not everything as Bere proved in the first half with the kind of performance that the manager dreams of, minus the naked women and the wet cement. With accurate pass and move football Bere were incisive and inspirational as they tore Marconi to shreds, prompting one spectator to comment that he thought he had come to the wrong pitch.

It was ironic that, with such good pass and move football being played, Bere’s goals came from the route one method. A free kick from around 30 yards out gave Mark Gale the opportunity to show us his technique, which seemed to consist of blasting the ball as hard as he could against the wall. No matter as the ricochet fell kindly to Dan Vater who never misses from 5 yards out. It was the Vater connection again that gave us number two as a long ball from ‘Father’ Vater found ‘Boy’ Vater in the clear and, having drawn the last defender away a cross (yes, he can pass it!!) found Andy in acres of space to make it 2-0.

Bere’s domination was not to last, though, as in the second half Marconi’s superior fitness began to tell and Bere were well and truly on the back foot. The fluidity was gone, replaced by a sterility summed up with a laughable back heel from Bungy that barely moved the ball, but at least kept the crowd amused. Minutes later, a defensive slip allowed the ball to, finally, fall to a Marconi forward who lashed the ball into the roof of the net and Bere were under siege again. This was made worse by the loss of two defensive stalwarts, Spivey with a hamstring injury and Dean with mild concussion as he was flattened by a move that ‘The Rock’ would have been proud of. Mark Gale kept things tight at the back though and, with a lightning break, Dan Vater put the game beyond Marconi with a neat finish in the bottom corner. 3-1 and it was ‘Buenos Nochas’ for Marconi’s Portuguese Men O’ War.



Lytchett R.T 1: Bere Regis 1

Still hovering around the danger zone the Saturday side really needed to get some points in the bag. A storming start from Bere gave the promise of a landslide against a struggling Lytchett team but, once again, goals were as elusive as a healthy British sheep. Worse was to come, though, as against the run of play Lytchett actually took the lead and kept it until half-time, with a little help from the woodwork and an inspired goalie.

It took a touch of class from Sean Cope to get Bere a share of the points in the second half, as he dragged the ball past the defender and curled the ball into the top corner. Bere kept pressing for a winner, but Lytchett held on for that precious point.

Bere Regis 4: Stickland Utd 2

Stickland are probably the only side in the league that you can guarantee a win against at the moment, although an opening goal from them in the first five minutes certainly shook Bere out of their lethargy. After realising that they were in a game they started to find spaces and dominated without too much trouble. The equaliser from Bere was a gem from their rough diamond, Gary Watts. An unsung hero in recent weeks, with an unusual way of stirring his tea, he curled a precision free kick into the top right hand corner with all the nonchalance of Beckham at his best.

Tony Lumsden put Bere ahead and, just after the interval, top scorer Ricky Cummings made it 3-1 with an audacious lob from the far touchline. Wayne Cope put the game beyond Stickland’s reach midway through the second half and, despite a last minute goal from Stickland, Bere ran out easy 4-2 winners.

Bere Regis 2: Handley Sports 2

Handley Sports were one of the mid table sides that Bere needs to beat at home to inch their way up the league. Injury had forced player/manager Dean Rogerson into the back four where he soon made his mark, a headed own goal that Paddles could only watch and admire. A new formation, due to several absentees, took time to get used to, but once they did Adam and Kev Cox combined to dramatic effect on the right, setting Tony Lumsden free to finish off a majestic equaliser. Bere were now well and truly on top, although chances were few and far between for both sides, and kept up this dominance both before and after the break.

Unfortunately, it is goals that win matches and it was Handley who scored the next one, a long ball over the top that the defender won the race to and Bere had to pick themselves up once again. The manager could not resist another change of formation to perk things up and, with not much left on the clock and Bere now winning the midfield battle, Adam Rogerson let fly from 35 yards out with a storming shot that hit the crossbar, the ground and bounced back out. Shades of ’66 as the referee blew for a goal then, amidst howls of protest from the Handley side, consulted the linesman before finally giving the goal. A deserved point in the end, but it was safe to say the referee would not be welcome in the Handley team coach on the way home.


Coolshore Utd 0: Bere Regis 11

If ever the Sunday side needed a spark to ignite their season, the Coolshore game was it. The manager approached the game with some trepidation, in memory of previous years where trips to Hurn airport gave close fought games and hard earned results. This was neither as Bere cruised to an easy win against a team that was a pale shadow of yesteryear, a mismatch reminiscent of, say, Man Utd v Arsenal. Bere dominated throughout and scored at will, with hat tricks from both Wayne Cope and Dan Vater, who were both promptly taken off by the manager to give others a chance. New signing Nick Cutler managed to score on his debut, whilst that other new signing, Ron White, also made the score sheet, but was remembered more for a darting, mazy run that ended with him blasting the ball over the bar from 4 yards out. The man is an enigma! Contributions from Mark Gale, Andy Curtis and Bungy Brown emphasised Bere’s superiority, finishing as comfortable 11-0 winners.

Semaphore Arms 3: Bere Regis 3

Semaphore Arms could hardly be a greater contrast. Top of the league and still smarting from a defeat against the bottom of the league the previous week Bere knew they were in for a tough fixture. Not even the morning snow could stop the pride of the British army from playing as their full time groundsman (I can hear Dougie now!) cleared the pitch in readiness. I say pitch, what I really mean is pitches as Bere trotted out onto a playing area which made Wembley look like a table football game. It was so vast that some of the poor old codgers found it difficult to spot the other goal.

The game started at a cracking pace, with Semaphore out to right the wrongs of the previous week and Bere just trying to keep pace with them. The home team opened the scoring in true Wimbledon style with a long ball flicked on and finished in style. Despite some useful Bere pressure, Semaphore increased their lead on the half hour as poor Mr Cleall nudged the ball past Dean for an unlucky own goal. A lesser team would have broken, but not this team. Dan Vater, a continual thorn in Semaphore’s defence, pulled one back for Bere with a superlative finish. Soon after Bungy won a penalty with a marvellous piece of trickery in the area, tricking the ref into thinking he had been fouled that is. Unfortunately, Mark was not his usual reliable self from the spot with a Chris-Waddle type penalty that clipped the bar on its way over.

Bere were 2-1 down at half time, but not out. Bere controlled the second half from the off and it was no surprise when they equalised with another penalty. A hand ball in the box and, with Mark off injured, Dan Vater shouldered the responsibility and showed Mark how it should have been done as he drilled the ball into the bottom right hand corner of the net. This shook Semaphore out of their lethargy and they were soon ahead again, a smart first time finish from the edge of the area that left Dean with no chance. Surely this would seal the game, but no! Dan Vater was unstoppable on this day and the third goal can only be described as genius. In Michael Owen style he weaved his way through several defenders before clipping a delightful shot into the top corner for his hat trick and a deserved equaliser.

Soon after, it finally dawned on the hapless defender who the danger man was and he took his retribution off the ball with a headbutt to the back of the head that was both cynical and cowardly. Terry Vater does not normally show us his pace, but he flew across the pitch to give the defender a piece of his own medicine. Paul Moss does not have any pace, and should only have been watching, but still flew across to join in the fun, although his cry of ‘I wish I was out there playing’ was not echoed by the manager for some strange reason. When play resumed there were chances at both ends, but a draw was probably a fair result and made even more sweeter by the refusal of some Semaphore players to shake hands at the end. Who ever said it was just a game should watch more Sunday morning football.

Bere Regis 5: Broadstone Cons 1

Out of the frying pan and into the fire, as Bere prepared to play another team who enjoyed a bit of a battle earlier in the season with fights galore. Nick need not have worried, though, as the light sprinkling of snow gave some of their hard men cold feet. Although not exactly a stroll in the park it was at the very least a jog in the playing field as Bere controlled the game from start to finish. Against the wind in the first half Bere experienced some problems, especially with Paddles’ kicking as he gave us more slices than a Scottish wedding cake. Even so, when Bere did decide to play football they looked a class above the opposition and it was no surprise when they took the lead.

It was also no surprise that it was Dan ‘The Man’ Vater again, latching onto a horrible defensive miscue and calmly slotting home. The game was put beyond Broadstone’s reach soon after when Kev Cox surged through a static defence and toyed with the keeper before picking his spot to make it 2-0. The second half was particularly one-sided as, with the wind at their backs, Bere piled the pressure on the Broadstone goal. Constant probing from a busy midfield soon bore fruit as Johnny Cleall ghosted past the last defender and beat the goalie at the near post with an unstoppable shot.

A fourth soon followed from a most unlikely source as Spivey found his obligatory one goal for the season with a header from a corner that almost tore the net off. When Wayne made it 5-0 by taking advantage of a defensive lapse it became party time for the team and the spectators. Sven Macklin Erikson made a triple substitution, with all subs believing that their place was up front. Earl decided to have a personal duel with the keeper, shooting at every opportunity and then despairing as the keeper stopped every shot. Even Pete Larder got in on the act as in an attempt to stop a misplaced shot he forgot that there was a fence behind him and went welly over bobble hat into the field. As Bere pressed forward it was almost inevitable that they would get caught out as with their only shot of the half Broadstone produced a late consolation goal. A 5-1 victory was enough for the manager, though, and Bere were climbing the league once again.

Bere Regis 6: Coolshore Utd 0

Another game against Coolshore gave Bere the chance to stack up some more points, and goals, after their 11-0 victory earlier in the month. Expectations rose even further when a swift count by the team’s accountant revealed only 10 players in the Coolshore team. However, after the opening few minutes which saw 2 glorious chances spurned by the Coolshore front line, it was obvious that this was going to be no easy ride. The wet and muddy pitch saw mistakes from both sides and Bere could not get into their normal passing rhythm. They did have Dan ‘The Man’ Vater in their team though and it was not long before he was making his presence felt. A cross from the left gave Bungy a simple side foot into the net and it was 1-0. A darting run round only two defenders this time gave Dan the chance to make it 2-0, which he promptly did. Finally, a horrendous goalkeeping error gave Dan a free run on goal and it was 3-0 at half time. The heavens opened for the second half and with the wind and rain in their faces Coolshore’s only hope was for an abandoned game.

Bere piled on the pressure and started to pass the ball more freely, giving chance after chance for the gleeful forwards. Johnny Cleall was the fulcrum for most of the passing as he made space out of nothing and never wasted a ball. It was inevitable that Bere would increase their lead and it was left to Andy Curtis to finish at the second time of asking and make it 4-0. Chances came and went, but at times Bere were not so much trying to walk the ball into the net, more expecting the net to come to them. A peach of a free kick from ‘Ginge’ Osmond pinged off the bar, whilst the keeper had a bit of a purple parch as he blocked, palmed and smothered anything that came near, even Ginge as he splatted him into the mud, leaving him looking like something from Star Trek:The Next Generation.

Coolshore continued to defend in numbers and often broke in style as they tried to get that elusive goal. They held out until the last few minutes at 4-0, when the pursuit of that goal proved their undoing. As most of their players pushed up for a Coolshore corner a power tackle from Spivey in Bere’s penalty area saw the ball fly to Wayne Cope on the half-way line and left him one on one with the last defender. Sheer pace took him past the defender and sheer class saw him finish to put Bere 5-0 up. It was left to Dan ‘ The hat-trick man’ Vater to have the last word once again as he blasted the ball in on the final whistle to claim his third hat trick in four games and give Bere a comprehensive 6-0 win.


Boxing Day - Old Gits 5: Young Whippersnappers 1

The traditional Boxing Day game was touch and go until the last minute, when the groundsman relented and let the footballers play on the cricket outfield (Sorry, Herbie!).

There was a grand turnout of Bere heroes past and present filling (overfilling in some cases) the old shirts. The Old Gits started the brighter of the two teams, overwhelming the young whippersnappers by sheer weight of numbers, or sheer weight in Pip’s case as players from both sides found him almost impossible to get round. Nick Macklin rolled back the years, and the socks, to show that the first five yards is in your head, although he still needed a 15 yard headstart. As it was, the ‘Whitewash’ started with the prolific Mr Rob White, as he outpaced (!) the youngsters' defence and lashed the ball home twice in the first 15 minutes. Calls for offside were ignored by the referee, a Mr Rob White, and the Old Gits remained 2-0 up. Terrific movement off the ball, making up for hopeless movement with the ball, allowed the OG’s to remain dominant and a third goal soon came from an unlikely White…..‘Bobber’, who smashed the ball viciously through the keeper and into the net. 3-0 soon became 4-0 as Steve McEleney ghosted in at the far post and finished with aplomb. The half-time whistle came as a welcome respite for the beleaguered whippersnappers.

The second half was a different story. Devoid of fitness the Old Gits faded fast, whilst the signing of Earl ‘Hardman’ Dacre at half time gave the Whippersnappers a bit more bite. Relentless pressure kept Pete Larder busy in goal, but luckily he had the services of Rogerson, White and Moss to help him. Not a firm of solicitors, but the best back line since the Anfield Eighties side. The poise of Rogerson, the guile of White and the sheer naked aggression of Moss kept the youngsters at bay for quite a while. In particular, Paul Moss’ tackling reminded one of bygone days in the early seventies when men were men and shorts were tight. In fact, some of his tackles started around the early seventies and finished around the upper thigh. Eventually, the pressure became too much and a lightning break from the youngsters gave Mick Mahoney the chance to unleash a thunderbolt that almost took the net off. It was then that Jimmy Green came into his own, so to speak. Needing an outlet from the relentless attacks, Jimmy played the Chris Waddle role to perfection. Not only did he have the long, scruffy hair and the awkward loping run, he had the skills to match. With a nutmeg here and a stepover there he mesmerised the defence, weaving his magical spell over all who came near. This was enough to give the rest of the team a breather and the Old Gits finished on top once again as it was left to a third White, Linden, to put the icing on the cake. A surging run left him with just the keeper to beat. Pausing only to pick his spot (or catch his breath), he slotted the ball through the keeper’s legs to finish a virtuoso performance for the old timers. To all you youngsters, try a bit harder next year!!

Boxing Day - Rob’s Rockets 0: Dazza’s Devils 0 (Rob’s Rockets won 5:3 on penalties)

The junior football was just as enthralling. Decimated by sickness, flu and just plain freezing cold weather, there were still a hardy ten out to make a game of it. Some neat one touch football from Jack White and Matty Bennett put Dazza’s Devils on top, but Nathaniel Scott refused to say die and rattled the woodwork on several occasions. Helped by the vicious tackling of Callum White and the skilful Hannah Reynard the Rockets almost won the game in normal time, but nobody could beat Alice Evans in goal. In the end, the game went to penalties. The game was won by some superb acrobatics from little Callum White in goal as the Rockets went on take the gold medals, with just silver (and chocolate) as consolation for the gallant losers. The future looks bright for Bere FC.


Bere Regis 3: Allendale 1

The Saturday side were still in the middle of a purple patch as they took on Allendale, who were mid table at the start of the day, slightly higher than Bere. Hard work from the groudsman ensured that this was the only game played in the whole of Dorset that day, regretted by some who had overindulged at Christmas and others who overindulge all the time. The absence of the gifted (though not in the Macca sense) Chris Oram left a hole in the midfield for the first twenty minutes, but one slick passing move later Bere were 1-0 up and it was Chrissy Who? Sean Cope was the beneficiary, left one on one with the keeper there was only going to be one winner. Disaster was soon to follow though as Cleall and Lumsden got their wires crossed and allowed Allendale in for the equaliser. Top scorer, Ricky Cummings, was not going to stand for this and promptly lashed Bere back into the lead. For the rest of the half Allendale were constantly hustled by a hungry midfield and soon Sean Cope was once again bearing down on the hapless keeper to make it 3-1 and the game virtually secure. The second half was a case of Bere battening down the hatches and keeping the points. A job well done and the long climb up the league continued.

Bere Regis 2: Linthorpe 3

The Linthorpe manager had done his homework well, though, as he fielded a team that would have looked better on a basketball court. Bere are about as good in the air as Concorde, but still managed to contain Linthorpe for quite some time until a loose ball in the penalty area was stabbed home. 1-0 soon became 2-0 as a power header from their 6’4 defender cannoned off their striker and looped into the net. Bere clung on until half time and, revived by the half time cup of tea and the arrival of Wayne Cope, took to the pitch in confident mood. Within 3 minutes of the restart Bere had pulled one back, a far post header from Kev Cox that was rarer than one of his rounds. Constant pressure gave the Bere players the chance to miss from all angles, the closest being a rasper from Adam that almost broke the post. End to end action meant a goal in the end, unfortunately at the wrong end as Linthorpe converted yet another corner to make it 3-1. Bere still did not give up, especially Chris Oram, and it was he who gave some hope to the despairing fans with a storming volley from the edge of the area through a sea of players. Anything Cantona can do, Chris can do better. But time was not on Bere’s side and the two month unbeaten run was finally ended.


Bere Regis 1: Sturminster Marshall 1

Bere’s Sunday side had been without a game for over a month and it certainly showed in this local derby, as Bere looked rustier than one of Bungy’s cars. From the opening minute, when Andy Curtis was put clean through and shot wide, it did not look to be Bere’s day. The approach play was delightful at times and in the first 20 minutes Bere threatened to run riot as the midfield grabbed the game by the throat with hard tackling and swift passing. But one sight of goal was all it took to turn decent players into gibbering wrecks as Bere either shot when they should have passed or passed when they should have shot. Fitness also became a factor midway through the first half as excesses in the Christmas week took their toll. It was left to Dr Dacre, immaculate at the back once again, to turn the game in Bere’s favour. A long, deep cross from Chris Oram found Earl screaming in at the back post and a well placed header gave Bere the lead. Bere were once again in control and able to provide some comedy moments. Bungy decided that tackling the opposition was not enough and took a chunk out of the referee, whilst Rob White in his new defensive role tried to chest the ball back to the keeper and had great difficulty in finding a chest to use, as it dribbled down his stomach to an eager centre forward who, thankfully, blasted high and wide.

The second half was another tale of missed chances and comic cuts. Not wanting to miss out on the action Mark Gale decided that being sick in the box was one way of attracting attention. When this did not work he tried running into the keeper, which kept the crowd amused for quite some while. Meanwhile, up front, chances went begging once more as Nick’s half-time team talk was largely ignored and players showed more greed than an Internet adoption agency. Sturminster Marshall took heart from this and had several good chances to pull one back, before finally equalising from a corner as the normally reliable Spivey was beaten in the air, and then subsequently beaten by his team mates. There was still time for both teams to rattle the crossbar, Bere’s effort being a cracking left foot drive from the irrepressible Dr Dacre, but at the final whistle both teams had to be content with a share of the points.


This month there has only been one winner in the world of football…the weather!! Dorset has not seen a rain as long as this since Queen Victoria, with pitches more sodden than Gomorrah.


18th November Bere Regis 2: Shaftesbury Res 2

Unable to sign Steve Redgrave for the wetter games, Dean had to make do with the side that has done so well of late. Unbeaten in two months, the side is now starting to look at the top rather than the bottom of the table. The visit of any reserves side is always a bit of a gamble, though, depending on what their first team is doing. Luckily, Shaftesbury had their normal side out and an enthralling match ensued. Weathering an early storm of aggression, Bere settled down nicely and after half an hour took the lead when top scorer Ricky Cummings buried the ball past the keeper, without the aid of his JCB. However, a lack of concentration (and height!) from a last minute corner and Bere ended the half at 1-1.

Second best in the second half Bere still managed to create chances on the break and took the lead once again when Sean Cope calmly slotted the ball home from 15 yards out. The more Shaftesbury pressed, the more chances appeared at both ends in an exciting game for the neutral. Bere almost put the game beyond reach in a glorious attacking move which saw the pace and vision of Kev Cox allied with the skill and agility of Tony Lumsden. The astonishing overhead kick from Squint was within an inch of being one for the scrap book and had Tony cursing his luck as it thudded off the crossbar. Almost immediately after, Shaftesbury swept forward and a precision lob over the hapless ‘Flabbyass’ Bartez in goal gave them a share of the points and a fair result in the end.


9th December Sherborne Res 2: Bere Regis 2

A visit to Sherborne did not hold too much fear for the Bere boys, having beaten them already earlier in the season. Bere started well and created several good chances as the midfield worked their socks off. ‘Flabbyass’ was left to stand and admire in goal as Bere rarely left the opposition half and reaped their reward just before half-time when a rasping shot from fully 25 yards out from ‘Gloves’ Rogerson fairly tore the net out. 1-0 at half time and things were looking rosy. Against the wind was a different story. The better chances still fell to Bere, but a combination of good keeping and woeful shooting kept the score down and the match close.

Sherborne upped their work rate and were rewarded with an equaliser, with an unstoppable shot into the bottom corner. Encouraged by this, and a key midfield substitution, they started to take Bere apart and could have easily taken the lead as Barthez made himself big (not too difficult) in a one on one situation. Sherborne continued to pressure, though, and a last ditch tackle from Hristo Oram earned him a yellow card and Sherborne a free kick. As ‘Flabbyass’ was left stranded from the Beckhamesque strike, Bere were left with 5 minutes to save the game. Looking for inspiration on the bench the manager could only see Macca, but anything was better than nothing and the surprise tactic was soon to bear fruit.

With less than a minute to go Bere had a last ditch corner. Once the ball was slung in by Kev Cox the ball bounced around like a pinball until, as if guided by the hand of fate, it fell to the feet of ‘Birthday Boy’ McEleney and he gleefully despatched it to earn Bere a deserved point.

26th November Broadstone Cons 2: Bere Regis 6

With confidence rising more quickly than the water table, Bere’s Sunday side could hardly have had a better game than bottom of the table away from home. However, when Bere were suddenly 2-0 down in the first half, with more missed chances than a bad monopoly player, Nick had to get his Mr Angry head on, a fearsome sight to behold. Bere pulled a goal back before half-time and, after a rocket that NASA would have been proud of from Mr Macklin in the interval, drew level soon after the break.

A hotly disputed penalty decision gave Bere the lead, but also infuriated Broadstone as they realised that the game was slipping away. When Andy Curtis was grabbed by the throat by a real ‘con’ in the Broadstone team even ‘Iron’ Dougie Curtis got involved, squeaking so high that the player was forced to drop Andy and cover his ears. The sending off gave Bere the chance to exploit the space and the game was never in doubt from there on. Andy completed a hat trick and Bere were once again on the winning trail, climbing to third in the league as a result.



Cranborne 9 : Bere Regis 2

Two away games in a row against the first and second in the league looked difficult on paper, on grass it proved to be impossible. A bare eleven (its not what you think girls!!) turned up to play Cranborne and, whilst Bere held their own for most of the game (its not what you think girls!!), two spells of goalscoring in both halves put the game beyond them.

Childe Okeford 6: Bere Regis 4

Childe Okeford was a different story and may just be the turning point of the season. With a full squad of 14 to choose from Dean could finally put out his strongest team and the performance speaks for itself. But for a lapse in concentration allowing 3 quick goals in almost as many minutes Bere could have come away with all the points against one of the favourites for the league. As it was, at 4-1 down Bere matched Okeford goal for goal and kept the game going right to the wire. Ricky Cummings was a hat-trick hero, the last one a back heel that would have had Rivaldo applauding in admiration. With Sean Cope getting the other goal, the manager need only now address the problem of a defence leakier than a Yorkshire house to start getting some points on the board.

Bere Regis 3: Holt Utd 0

For once, Dean was looking for a clean sheet on a Saturday and this week he was in luck. Despite Holt’s best efforts, they could not breach a back line more fired up than an Austrian train. Meanwhile, up front Ricky continued his purple patch in front of goal with another well deserved hat-trick, his last being one for the scrap book with a diving chip volley that would have put a lesser man’s back out. This was a real team effort, though, as Bere scrapped for everything. Sean Cope was closing down more than Marks & Spencers, whilst Chris ‘The Rock’ Oram won his midfield battle by two falls and a submission. An emphatic 3-0 win and Bere were on their way up the table.

Allendale 1: Bere Regis 1

Allendale away was another story, but still a happy ending. Team spirit was high as Dean unveiled his secret weapon, Macca the wing back, but a bit more wing than back. Less surprising was the sight of Ricky scoring once again as Bere took the lead. However, in weather conditions that would have had a duck complaining Bere gave away a sloppy goal and left with only a share of the points this time.


Bere Regis 1 : West Quay 4

Meanwhile, Bere’s Sunday side were in the middle of their worst losing streak for years. Lady luck had left them, along with any discipline they once had as Bere started their own card school, using red and yellows.

West Quay were once again league leaders so it was always going to be difficult. Despite this, Bere should have put them to the sword in a rather vindictive game. Bere were first to lose a player as legendary hard man ‘Bungy’ Brown took exception to a late tackle and swung a haymaker so wild many of the spectators were ducking. Down to 10 men, Bere were still in the game at 1-0 down and the way things were going it was only a matter of time before West Quay also lost a player. The fact that this coincided with a penalty made things even more rosy and Mark Gale duly despatched the penalty with ease. When West Quay went down to 9 men, things look set for a rare Bere victory, but West Quay had obviously not read the script. A wicked deflection from a free kick and Bere were 2-1 down. Then, with defending more confused than your average Presidential election, Bere gave away two late goals and all the points.

Bovington Challengers 4: Bere Regis 3

When in the middle of a losing streak the last team you want to play is one full of squaddies who have been deprived of war action for a while. Add one incompetent referee and grass tall enough to hide your boots in and you have a sure fire recipe for disaster. Once again, Bere soon found themselves behind thanks to some sharp finishing from Bovington. Despite this, they were soon back in the game again after to a basic goalkeeping error and should have been in the lead when the ball was so far over the line it touched the net before being clawed out. A lesser referee would have been happy with just the one mistake, but this one was looking for more than mere incompetence. Not content with disallowing goals whilst allowing GBH, he then proceeded to rewrite the rules of offside and give Challengers a 2-1 lead at half time. Well at least he could not get any worse, or so we thought. A penalty decision that the player’s mother would not have given gave Bovington a 3-1 lead. Finally, a polite enquiry as to whether the referee still had his head stuck up his Arsenal shirt from Mr Cleall was misheard and Bere were down to 10 men. Backs to the wall situations often bring the best out of the Sunday team and suddenly Bere were back in it as Wayne grabbed his second. Pushing for the equaliser,however, Bere were caught out at the back and went even further behind, but it was still not all over. A bit of common sense at last from the referee saw Challengers reduced to 10, as he finally realised that stamping on your opponent was part of rugby football, not association football. Then, an outstanding piece of skill from ‘Ginge’ brought Bere back to 4-3, floating a 30 yard free kick precisely into the top corner. But there was to be no fairytale ending and Bere had lost yet another game. Nick was last seen on Holton Heath picking basketfuls of lucky heather for the visit of Hamworthy Royals.

Bere Regis 1: Hamworthy Royals 2

This was not enough, though, as Bere once again managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. A strong first half performance against the wind saw Bere only 2-1 down at half time and that thanks to some suicidal passing around the goal mouth. The scene was set for Bere to destroy the Royals in the second half, as they had done last year. But with pressure so great that the Royals half of the pitch was listed in the ‘Good Camping’ Guide, Bere simply could not find the net. Stalwart defending, a succession of missed chances and an obvious penalty decision turned down and Bere were once again left pointless and nervously looking over their shoulders at the bottom of the table looming large. Nick was last seen machine gunning a few rabbits for the arrival of Corfe Mullen.

Bere Regis 3: Corfe Mullen 1

At last, a bagful of rabbit’s feet finally did the trick. A victory built on hard work and fluid football was just what the manager ordered and got. 2-0 up at half time, Bere never looked in any trouble, until a rush of blood from Danny Vater saw Bere down to 10 once again with a two footed tackle straight out of the Vinny Jones handbook. Luckily, Bungy was having one of those games where he never put a foot, hand, knee or any other part of his anatomy wrong. Using up all his energy before his three match ban he must have covered every piece of grass on the pitch and capped his performance with a bullet header at the back post that fairly flew into the net. Even so, Bere love to give their manager a few scares and when Corfe threw caution to the wind Bere wobbled like a jelly on a drill. A precise corner was greeted with the well worn phrase ‘Ginge is up’, followed closely by that other well worn phrase ‘Where the hell did he come from’, and Corfe had pulled one back. If the centre forward had worn longer studs Bere would soon have lost another goal, but there were to be no more scares after that as the referee blew his whistle and Bere could celebrate a victory once more.



Shaftesbury 4 : Bere Regis 0

A new season saw Dean Rogerson once again at the helm, guiding a path through the stormy seas of Div 3, N & E. Pre-season friendlies showed a lack of firepower. Subsequent advertisements in the local free-ads yielded more hassle than Hasselbainks, so the manager decided to stick with his current youth policy (but that’s enough about his love life). Missing on the first game for an emergency cricket tour (eat your heart out Keegan), Dean returned to hear the same problem as the friendlies, with the team having less scoring chances than a nun in a monastery.

Bere Regis 3: Sherborne 2

His return to the team against Sherborne must have heartened Johnny Cleall to such an extent that he scored two of the three goals that saw off the mighty Sherborne, with Sean Cope providing the goal that made all the difference in a close fought match.

Stourpaine 3: Bere Regis 2

Goals were again in abundance in the local grudge match against Stourpaine, but this time Bere were on the receiving end of a 3-2 defeat. It could have been worse if Bere had not appealed to the referee when the ball went through the back of the goal and he almost gave a goal kick. Luckily, his guide dog saw it all!!

Harlequins & Weston 6: Bere Regis 1 (Cup)

The Cup run can only be described as a false start, ending before it had really begun at wild and windy Portland. It was a game of two halves, with Bere winning the second 1-0. Unfortunately, they had already lost the first 6-0 in a bad tempered match that made the Arsenal/Man U fixture look like a Sunday school match. Once again, Johnny Cleall was on the score sheet as, for the first time ever, he now has more goals than disciplinary points. Long may it continue!!


Windgreen C.M. 1: Bere Regis 3

Another season, another promotion. Second in the league last year, Bere’s Sunday side have now hit the giddy heights of Division 2 where there are no easy matches, apart from Windgreen and Summers Electrical. Nick Macklin, expecting the England call any moment, decided to take a break for the first 2 matches and left Mark Gale in charge. With new summer signing, Chris ‘Ginger’ Osmond, on show Bere started with a simple game against Windgreen. Playing at less than half pace, Bere controlled the game quite confidently until, at 2-0 up, Kev Cox decided to make things difficult. A hopeful cross looked to be no danger at all until Kev drilled the ball into the bottom corner past Paddles.

Regis rocked for a while until Andy Curtis gave a two goal cushion once more and Bere ran out worthy winners.

Bere Regis 1: Semaphore Arms 1

The next game was more tricky against a side that had won 10-0 the previous week and were oozing with fitness and confidence. In a close, hard fought match Bere took the lead in the first half only to be pegged back when a hopeful through ball caught Bere napping and the Semaphore forward finished with aplomb. A titanic second half produced chances for both sides but no goals.

There were comments that the flag-happy linesman was appropriate for the Semaphore Arms, but in the end the draw was a fair result.

Sturminster Marshall 2: Bere Regis 4

Nick returned for the visit to Stur Marshall and a bit of local rivalry. Once again, Bere struggled to find form. In fact , new signing ‘Ginge’ struggled to find his own team mates as a disastrous pass to the Stur forward allowed Stur to take a 2-1 lead which they kept until the last 15 minutes. It was with a flourish that Nick unveiled his other new signing, Dan ‘The Man’ Vater (a chip off the old boot if ever there was one), and he was well rewarded. Within minutes of coming on he had equalised.

Soon after, he was there again to make it 3-2 to Bere and if that was not enough he rounded off with one more fine effort to give himself a quicksilver hat-trick and Bere the victory. Whilst Dan took the plaudits, I am sure there was also a manager who would find his next week’s contemplations at work more enjoyable and a captain who would look forward to listening to them.

Bere Regis 8: Summers Elect 2

After such an awesome display in the last 15 minutes of the previous game, Summers Electrical held no fears for the Regis. This was helped even more when Summers turned up with the bare eleven and had to beg for a linesman. Despite torrential rain, Bere tore Summers apart and at half time found themselves 5-1 up, the pick of the goals being a perfectly timed run and inch perfect finish from the one and only Kev Cox.

The second half saw more of the same and despite the efforts of Summers’ cheating linesman (or was that Macca) Bere ran out easy winners and found themselves top of the table again. Unfortunately, the only way is down from there.

Marconi Comms 5: Bere Regis 3

Marconi Communications were a different proposition. On a pitch that would give a snail claustrophobia Bere were always going to struggle. Add to this a team that likes to play the ball over the top for pacy forwards to run onto and it was the Weld Arms all over again. Marconi had obviously heard of Bere’s reputation and so had drafted a number of Portuguese players into their team, although Luis Figo was thankfully not amongst them. There was talk of trying to prevent them actually playing under the three foreigners rule, but it was soon pointed out that Bere would also be in trouble under the three farmers rule so the game had to go ahead.

Bere started brightly enough and for the first 20 minutes there was only one team in it. With the corner count at 10-0, if it had been a boxing match the ref would have stopped it. As it was, it was no surprise when Bere took the lead, a beautifully flighted cross from the left and Bungy Brown was on hand to head in to the top corner. From there it all went downhill. A sleeping defence allowed Marconi to equalise, a crumbling defence allowed them to take the lead and a non-existent midfield allowed Marconi a 3-1 cushion.

Chances came and went for Bere, but it was left to Johnny ‘I can’t stop scoring’ Cleall to pull one back before half-time with a speculative cross that looped in.

In the second half, Bere soon equalised as Rob White did what he does best, apart from making patios, by committing then beating the keeper. But this was not Bere’s day. Paddles was not on top form today and being sick at half-time did not help in the slightest. First an awesome toe-punt saw him clutching at thin air to put Marconi in the lead, then another in quick succession put the ball beyond Paddle’s grasping clutch and the game beyond the Regis.

Bere Regis 2: Creekmoor Lions 4 (Cup)

Slightly demoralised, it was no time to be drawn in the Cup against a Bournemouth team that had not lost for 2 years and were cup finalists last year. Creekmoor Lions certainly started the game growling, but this soon backfired as the ref gave a penalty against them for a two footed challenge that would have had Keane wincing. Mark Gale stepped up to become the hero once again and Bere were 1-0 ahead in the first five minutes.

Unfortunately for Galer he was about to become the villain. A hopeful through ball looked to be no trouble until Mark decided to slot an inch perfect through ball past Paddles and into the path of an on rushing forward. 1-1 and Mark was about as popular as a Palestinian at a bar mitzvah.

Things got worse in defence as an inch perfect through ball found a Lion in acres of space and he finished in style to put Bere 2-1 down at half-time, but not disgraced. The second half started badly for Bere and got worse as it went along. From the kick-off Bere’s sloppy passing allowed Creekmoor a run on goal, but Paddles did enough to force a miss, right into the midriff of our keenest, and scruffiest,supporter.

This wake-up call was not heeded and Creekmoor were soon 3-1 up, a perfect cross and a clinical header past Paddles. Bere never say die though, and when Wayne was allowed a clean run on goal there was only going to be one winner. Bere 3-2 down and playing for pride. Things were not helped when, in a game that had already seen sweat and tears, Spivey provided the blood in a clash of heads that gave Dr Macca the chance to practise his medicine. One big sticking plaster later, Spivey was no longer able to continue and whilst reorganising Bere went further behind never to recover. The Cup would have to wait another year.