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2009  ROGS – Bere Regis 









27th February

Sherborne Golf Club

Members Challenge


Martin Debenham

27th March

Old Thorns Golf & Country Estate

GRS Trophy



Jim Corbin

24th April

Canford Magna


Whitbread Pairs


Brett Standerwick and Keith Nurrish

29th May

The Club at Meyrick Park


Captain’s Cup


 Geoffrey Adams

26th June

Wareham Golf Club


Landlord’s Cup

12 noon

 Jamie Lake

31st July

Botley Park

Jim Corbin Cup


  John Ruskin

28th Aug

Woodbury Park Hotel Golf & Country Club

President’s Cup


 Darren Parker

25th Sept

Bramshaw Golf Club

Rob Hall Hackers Trophy


 Shaun Brady

30th October

Yeovil Golf Club


Zoom Trophy


 Graeme Price

12th. Decem

Dorset Golf & CC

Xmas Cup of Good Cheer


 Rob Acey

Xmas Draw


Just a quick note to say thank you to all of you who kindly donated a raffle prize for the Xmas draw on Saturday, also equally as important, thank you to all of you who supported the event being generous when buying
raffle tickets!!

As a result of your fantastic support, we raised £635 to go towards the captains chosen charities.

Many thanks once again.

Dean Merritt


Yes, it is that time of year again, time for hanging your stocking over the fireplace, decorating the Xmas tree, over indulging on food and mulled wine, and no doubt demonstrating some dad dancing at the office Christmas party!!!   However more important than all of those………it brings on the battle of Bere in the form of the Christmas Cup of Good Cheer.  This traditionally brings the curtain down on another successful ROGS golfing season, which has seen the membership swell to nearly 50 golfers.

Led superbly throughout 2009 by Howlin’ Mad Flower, it was now time to hand over the reigns to myself and my shy and retiring vice captain Tiny Merritt to lead the merry band of men fresh challenges over the next year, and no doubt copious amounts of humorous stories that will keep us all entertained in 2010.  I would like to take this opportunity to thank the outgoing captain for all of his hard work through 2009, however I have been told by the editor that I have got limited column inches so won’t bother!!  In all sincerity Julian, thank you for a fantastic and memorable season, a hard act to follow.

With over 32 members turning out to brave the elements at an earlier than usual tee off at just after 8:30, the weather stayed dry, albeit left the greens and fairways a little moist.  This was the annual ‘Battle of Bere’, where the incoming President’s handpicked team took on my illustrious troop of fine gentlemen!!  The match was keenly contested, where the match went down to the wire, with the result was hanging in the balance depending on the result of the Parker & Son head to head game.  Mike ‘The Quiff’ Parker defeating Darren ‘Did you hear about my hole in one 2 years ago’ Parker to earn the President’s team a well deserved victory by one point.

Unfortunately due to some early festive frolics, the individual results are not exactly complete…..however the following is what I have managed to piece together through the haze of a fun packed evening.

In third position was Brett ‘Big Man’ Standerwick’, his handicap being cut from 20 to 19, the runner up was Simon ‘The Worm’ Scott with 41 points, with his handicap being cut from 26 to 23, however the event was won by Rob ‘My driver is on E Bay’ Acey with a massive 43 points, who now finds himself playing off of 15 for his efforts!!  Nearest the pins were won by several people who’s names elude me, and the 2’s kitty of £40 was won by Doug ‘King Of Spoof’ Marsh claiming £1 for every yard that he chipped in from!!

May I also take this opportunity to thank every body that donated draw prizes and bought tickets on the night, where all of your efforts raised a fantastic £650, which will be divided between my two chosen charities for the forthcoming year.

I hope that you had a wonderful Xmas, a refreshing New Year, and trust that you will all be on a water and elderflower detox from now until the first ROGS match of the new season on the 26th February at Came Down.

Captain Bru

Zoom Trophy

Yeovil Golf Club

October brings the 2010 season to an emotional climax. Yeovil was a fitting venue for the big finale offering ROGS members with one last challenge before sending their clubs to naughty step for the winter. One my attempt to write your name in the ROGS history books and more importantly one last chance to prevent your wife from saying at the presentation night “I thought you were good at golf, why haven’t you won anything again this year?” A record turn out for the season meant that the ROGS were looking to finish the season on a high and ensure that the Captain reign was at last over!

The weather was again kind to the Captain as he teed off in front of a packet ROGS clubhouse. To the ROGS delight the Captain finished the season how he started and sliced a ball into the trees with the sounds of laughter and barracking echoing in the back round. Stories of bad play and even worse gamesmanship were filtering around the golf course. The sight of Darren Parkers face as his power caddie disappeared into the distance as he was putting out was very amusing, even better was the colour of his face as he just caught the caddie in time before it disappeared into the river. On a more serious note, the ROGS almost had its first on coarse fatality. Paul Keeping crossing the road in-between holes was confronted head on from a four by four truck. The driver whilst explaining the Highway Code in a new language, was stopped in his tracks with the remark “If you had 7 points after 8 holes, you would of done the same thing”. Paul then decided to attack the driver with his putter, swinging and missing several times. The Driver responded by saying “with a putting stroke like that, I am surprised you have 7 points!” And made his escape before Paul attacked him with something he could use.

This years Zoom Trophy winner with an impressive 39 points was Graeme Price, no doubt aided by his skintight bright blue budgie smugglers. Second spot went to Bobber on 38 points proving to Pricey that size really doest matter. Speed golfer Jonnie Johnson took third place on count-back. Thanks to the generosity of the ROGS, there were 7 prizes to be won on the day. Deano Merritt won the first nearest the pin finishing a record distance away from the pin and still winning. It measured 45 feet away or 8 DW (that’s Dean Waist) in new measurements. Darren Parker won 2 of the nearest pin prizes and Matt Cooper maintained his prize a game ratio going winning nearest the pin in 2 on the 18th. The Captain almost signed off with a heart stopping hole-in-one but was left a couple inches short, no jokes needed. Apologies to anyone in the Yeovil area thinking they could here a cat being strangled, that was the Captain getting a little bit excited at the prospect of breaking his hole in one duck. Rob “Ace of Base” Acey won the longest drive sporting his old driver. His new £400 driver after just outing is currently on e-bay with the comment “will accept most offers, just please don’t tell the wife”.

As this is my final report I would like to thank all of the committee and my fellow ROGS members for all their support and encouragement this year. My reports are meant is good faith, therefore sincere apologies to anyone who I may have offended over the season. On a personal note, I have wholeheartedly enjoyed my role, as ROGS Captain and I feel proud to be part of such a wonderful society. I would like to pass on my gratitude and best wishes to the forthcoming Captain Shaun Brady for all his support this year and wish him every success for 2010


Captain Flower

Portugal 2009

This years eagerly anticipated ROGS tour took us to Logos in Portugal, where a party of 20 ventured including 13 so called golfers.  It all started so well, albeit early until a discovery was made after 5 minutes at the airport that “Honest” Pricey had left his precious white board in the back of the taxi who made a hasty getaway before he could run down the road after it.  All of the members breathed a huge sign of relief thinking that their hard earned euros would be spent on beer and food, instead of paying instalments off of the dairy……how wrong they would be, because anywhere the “honest” goes, there are ways and means, this would take the form of a tatty piece of papyrus kept in his sweaty pocket for 7 long days!!

The flight was smooth, and even I had a safe trip snuggled between the window seat and “Tiny” Merritt…….could life get any better I asked myself?

Didn’t I tell you that we have to be up at 6:00 am every morning to tee off before sunrise was what greeted us from tour organiser “The Spy” Storey with a smirk on his face and a four pack of red bull in his hand as we made our way to our 4 star accommodation!!

The first morning, we made our way to Boa Vista to play for “The Bantry Bay Tray”, somewhat bleary eyed, however full of high spirit after hearing about the first instalment of “Tich” White and “Tiny” Merritt snore off, which was I am reliably informed was deemed a snore draw at 4 each!!

The starter looking more tanned then than David Dickinson could hardly believe his eyes as the first four ball all hit their tee shots straight down the middle..…..of the neighbouring gardens, driveways and verandas!! Prompting him to turn to “The Arm” Corbin and “Big Man” Standerwick, enquiring again what exactly was written on the handicap certificates.  Ian “Two Tones” Jarred finishing off the groups taking 7 on the first, and that was just off of the tee, disturbing the neighbouring residents early morning dip in their pool with a poorly aimed Titleist!!  The course a challenging test of golf with the majority of golfers coming in between 25 and 32 points, that was of course with the exception of Martin “My sombrero wouldn’t fit in my hand luggage” Debenham who won the day with a fantastic 40 points, and was promptly slashed 3 shots for his efforts!!  “Bobber” White finishing in 2nd place with 32 points beating “Tiny” Merritt on count back who finished 3rd having showed no fatigue after a long, arduous, hot, sweaty day driving his buggy around the course!!

After another early start, or a late night for me we travelled to Palmares to play for “The French Open” where the course was undergoing two years of major renovation work, however this didn’t deter the ROGS even though some of the holes better resembled crazy golf where you had to hit your drive through a JCB’s window and sink a put in the workman’s coffee cup.  However, it was left to your truly still “super boked” from the night before, managing to hold my nerve and win with a massive 42 points, and was promptly slashed 4 shots for my hard work, closely followed by John “The Bull” Pitts on 39 points in 2nd with
 “Big Man” Standerwick finishing 3rd with 38 points finding his game after a day of shanking the day before.
We then had 2 days rest and recuperation before our next outing, therefore took the opportunity to get involved in an unforgettable amount of games of “spoof”, which I think that the ladies never want to play again after Julie White lost a day of her holiday recovering from.  Meanwhile, some of us watched ‘Sir” Geoffrey Adams play two and a half hours of 7 card brag by the pool in “Tich” White’s card school, and not win a single hand, only stopping for a brief rest to swap his tee shirt after being deposited on by one of the flying inhabitants of the island…..thought that was meant to bring you good luck Geoffrey??  That evening I heard on the grapevine that there was a strange incident involving something called a “falcon” punch and a white horse, whose owner had the longest eyebrows in Portuguese history, the rest as they say was history!

The third course was Morgado, playing for “The Middleton Cup” , equally as stunning as the first, cut into the hills where the mist and dew looked to thwart us, although made the greens moist and receptive, as we  teed off nearly an hour late, only managing to guide our way around by following “The Nurrish” who was in his sky blue knee length Harare Golf Club socks and the aroma of freshly smoked “Shag” from his pipe wafting into the Portuguese air, it was reported that after securing a par 4 for 4 points that he got so excited he followed this up with an air shot on the next tee!!  The highlight of the day being a rather attractive lady selling cowboy hats on the 11th tee for ten euros a piece to 13 unsuspecting ROGS who were never going to turn her down, although “Sir” Geoffrey enquired whether she could give him one for free, after flatly turning him down he bought a hat anyway and narrowly missed a hole in one by the width of one of “Tiny” Merritt’s bacon sandwiches, although duly sinking the 2 foot put for a birdie (not the one that flew over him at the card school earlier in the week!)
Again this proved a close affair with “Honest” Price blobbing the last hole, allowing “Bobber” White to steal in for the victory with 40 points, “Honest” 2nd on 39 points, and “Tiny” beating “Two Tones” into third spot on count back. 

This then set up a thrilling climax to the tour, where the final round was at the famous Sir Henry Cotton championship course at Penina playing for “The Foto Island Pint”, on arrival “The Arm” was eyeing up the board in the reception where the hole in ones appeared, desperately wishing to etch his name up there with a marker pen along side names such as Thomas Levet and Gordon Brand, sadly this was not to be the case, but he was willing to challenge them both to an arm wrestle for bragging rites!!  The final four ball saw “Bobber” White teeing off in the lead by two points over “Honest” who was a further two points ahead of “Tiny” and “The Bull” who almost had to be muzzled after snarling and bearing his teeth in unprecedented intimidation tactics!!  However Martin “I have found my sombrero again” Debenham could not be ruled out playing in the group in front.  The day seemed to live up the hype surrounding it when the final four ball stood on the final green not knowing what was needed to win the overall tournament and lift “The Tourist Trophy”, finally it was left to “Tiny” Merritt to sink a four foot put up the hill to seal victory for the day on count back over “The Sombrero”, both with 31 points, with “Two Tones” coming good again on 30 points in third.  This meant that “Tiny” won the overall week with 134 points over “Honest” by one on 133 points, with “The Sombrero” narrowly beating “The Bull” on count back to take 3rd spot with 131 points.

The presentation was held at the local curry house with speeches from your truly, with the wine flowing generously supplied by the charity that is otherwise know as “Honest Pricey Bookmakers”.  Other winners from the week were “the Bull” and “Honest” who romped to victory in the pairs competition, and “Sir” Geoffrey in the putting competition.  A special presentation was made to “The Spy” who had yet again organised us all superbly, and quite simply without him, there would not be a tour!!

Shaun “Brumastiff” Brady

ROGS - Rob Hall Hacker Trophy

Friday 25th. September 2009

This day was not a significant day in history but was shared with Sonny Liston in 1962 who knocked out Floyd Patterson in the first round for the heavyweight title and in 1940  the Luftwaffe bombed the Spitfire factory in Southampton.

There are two Courses at Bramshaw, the Forest Course complete with wild ponies grazing and the high quality 6127 yard Manor Course which plays host to County and Championship golf events.

With this in mind 23 ROGS  members set out to challenge the might of Bramshaw Manor golf course.

The last time we played this course was in August 2003 when Ian Macklin came in with a magnificent 45 points so it was going to take some excellent golf to surpass that total.

The weather was fair with a little breeze and was inviting good golf scores.

Paul Keeping, Graeme Price and Peter Cheeseman held up the rear with a final  score of 26 points, then Michael Parker 28, Bobber White and Tim Porter on 29, Johnny Johnson, Russell French and Doug Marsh all on 30. Ebby and Dave Rushton had 32 points and Keith Nurrish 33. Dean Merritt, Ruskie and Charlie Way were all on 34. John Day, John Pitts and Martin Debenham all had 35 each. Roger Duncanson was on 36 with the Captain, Julian Flower on 37 points.

The last three holes on this course are three par 4,s and measure 1427 yards between them. Thats long!

In third place was Darren Parker with 38 points who had won at Woodbury Park the month before.

Second Was Gordy Tucker on 40 points.

The winner of the Rob Hall Hackers Trophy with a fantastic round of 46 points was Shaun Brady.

These scores today on this course suggest the days of ROGS hackers are over and everyone deserves a pat on the back for a good days golf not least of all to the winner Shaun (better known to us as Bru ) Superb Round Bru.                                                                                    

Presidents Cup

Woodbury Park Golf Club

August brings the ROGS to another new venue for the season. Woodbury Park Based in Devon and previously owned by Nigel Mansell was one of the more eagerly awaited trips of the year. Nothing but good reports were received from all who have visited this long and challenging course. The trip down to Devon on Bank Holiday weekend was painstakingly long, especially on the Fun Bus with the previous night’s drink and vindaloo seeping from birthday boy Roger “cueball” Johns body parts. I suppose, you are only 60 once.

With all the anticipation of a child on Christmas morning we arrived at Woodbury Park in all its splendour. The place was looking immaculate with all expectations surpassed. Unfortunately I did not account for the weather in Devon in August when booking the venue. Torrential rain and gale force winds soon changed our moods to a hangover similar to New Years morning. With an hour till first tee, the ROGS in typical style devoured their traditional pre-game meal of full English with extra everything. The Captain took to the first tee with no wet weather attire and no umbrella to find like magic the clouds clear, the wind drop and the sun to raise its head. This does add to the theory that the sun does shine on the dog’s backside once in a while. Now in perfect conditions the ROGS took on one of the toughest tests of the year. The first eventful shot of the day came from Jamie “ balls in” Lake. On the first par three, Jamie decided to take the unusual route of hitting the ladies tee, the path, the bunker, 3 trees, the windmill and skim across the lake to find himself just off the green. After sinking his putt for a 2 and collecting the 2’s money, he said he was disappointed with the shot as he was trying to leave himself an uphill putt!  The 18th hole was one of more eventful holes. A tricky short par 3, all over water directly in front of an ever-increasing ROGS crowd outside the clubhouse. Its fair to say that if we gave £1 to charity for every ball that got wet, the world would be free of poverty and woe. At one point Russell “beaver” French was accused of trying the build a dam of golf balls in order just to get across!       

This years Presidents Cup winner with an impressive 37 points was Darren Parker, narrowly beating Peter Foster on 35 points. John Ruskin continued his great form finishing third (good luck playing off 3 Rusky) with 34 points. The 3 nearest the pin prizes went to Tiny Merritt, Mark Tweed and Tim Porter, with Tiny Merrick picking up the longest drive, although Mr Spurdle has asked for a steward’s enquiry over his length!  The 2’s money was shared between spornie Lake and old man Ruskin.

Congratulations and thanks to all for a supporting the Presidents Cup and I look forward to seeing you all next month at Bramshore Golf Club. 
Captain Flower

Jim Corbin Cup

Botley Park Golf Club

July brings the ROGS to the beautiful countryside of Hampshire and a new uncharted golf course to the society. Botley Park came highly recommended and did not let us down. It provided the ROGS with an excellent challenge with each hole providing an individual test and feel with enough water to frighten the straightest of hitters.  

Hopefully without tempting fate, the weather was glorious as it has been all season. The sight of 32 ROGS members in shorts is a sight to behold; the picture resembled a scene from a geriatric knobbly knees competition. Again no excuses for a great days golf! The Captain chose 2 able adversaries to compete with for the day. Paul “PABS” Ebsworth and Roger “Cueball” Johns provided the Captain with a master class in every shot in golf: The Air Shot, The Shank, The Top, The club Throw and the Snap Hook to name just a few!
It is very rare that a member of the green keeping staff approaches the Captain. Such an intrusion must mean a serious breech of course conduct from a member of the ROGS. To the Captains horror, the poor green keeper was explaining that the fish in the pond by the 9th were in a traumatised state and in need of serious counselling.  By all accounts a member of the ROGS had been encouraging their prize carp out of the water with his “sausage”, whilst whispering “come on little fishy, just give me a little nibble”?  The member will remain nameless in an attempt to protect his integrity but leading the investigation into “fishgate” will be Sir Geoffrey “birdeye” Adams.

This years Jim Corbin Cup winner with an impressive 36 points was John (old timer) Ruskin, narrowly beating an inconsolable Captain on count-back. The General Gordy Tucker picked up the bronze with 34 points. The 4 nearest the pin prizes went to speed golfer Jonny Johnson, oompa loompa Mark Teed and 2 guests Matt Cooper and Colin Cross. Matt Cooper also picked up the longest drive competition using a 7 iron! (he has also picked up a life time ban from the ROGS for being too good!) The 2’s money was shared between The Captain, The Ruskin and The Spurdle 

Congratulations and thanks to all for a supporting the Jim Corbin Cup and I look forward to seeing you all next month at Woodbury Park. 
Captain Flower

Landlords Cup

Wareham Golf Club

June quickly brings the ROGS to the midpoint on the golfing season and to an old favourite of the Society. Wareham has been a loyal supporter of the ROGS for many years, always offering excellent hospitality and a perfectly maintained course. The fact that several of the ROGS are members of the club can only prove what an enjoyable club Wareham is. 

Again the weather was very kind to the ROGS as we set off on one of the hottest days of the year. Everything was in the ROGS favour, conditions were perfect, course was immaculate and everyone knew the golf course. Surely this was going to be record-breaking day of pure faultless golf? This however is the ROGS and with every tale of excellence, there was a tale of woe. Far too many to mention but a couple are to good not to share. John (ahab) Spurdle is a single figure handicap golfer, a true master of the game. 21 points later meant that the Yoda of golf had decided to move his talents to flower arranging, tree surgery and pot holing. Greenpeace have been notified about his lack of respect for our beautiful countryside! The following golfers all had comments to say about their performance on the day but unfortunately cannot be printed: Darren (I enjoying refereeing more than golf) Parker, Dave (never liked Wareham although I am a member) Rushton and Jonnie (to hot to speed golf) Johnson.  

This years Landlords Cup winner with an excellent 40 points was Jamie (with mask) Lake, narrowly beating Chris Sumner on 39 points. The Captain picked up the bronze to the delight of the fellow members, only due to the fact that he know gets his handicap slashed. The nearest the pin prizes went to Pete (9.5 digit) Cheeseman, Charlie Way, Jim (the arm) Corbin and Roger (the shank) Johns. The Captain was the only winner of the 2’s money; the money was later invested in several of the Wareham watering holes as a token of good will! 

Congratulations and thanks to all for a supporting the Landlords Cup and I look forward to seeing you all next month at a new ROGS venue Bottley Park. 
Captain Flower

Captains Cup

Meyrick Park

May brings the ROGS to the centre of Bournemouth to Meyrick Park for the most prestigious competition of the yearNot only does the winner of Captains Day receive the most sort after trophy in Golf, it also means that the winning name becomes immortalised at the social club for all to see.  Meyrick Park would hold a fitting test with each hole carefully designed within mature countryside with enough length to worry any golfer. 

The weather was very kind to the ROGS again as we set off on one of the hottest days of the year. The Captain has the honour of taking the first shot at each event. This is normally not an issue but with 20 plus rowdy ROGS members standing behind the first tee and a 250-yard par 3 to start the round, this first shot took on a new challenge. Needless to say the Captain did not let the boys down with the first sound of ball thudding against wood as cries of timber bellowing from the crowds started the round. This event and course was never going to produce a 40-point plus score. It was a day for plotting and patience. This is however not the ROGS normal approach to golf. The Captains playing partners for the day highlighted this. Ex Captain Martin Debenham seemed to be more preoccupied with night’s activities in town than his golf. Vice Captain Shaun Brady decided to have his own competition of cigarettes smoking against balls lost, for the statisticians amongst you, it was a 20-20 tie. Brett (Srixon) Standerwick decided quite alarmingly to enter every wooded area for hours on end only to reamerge screaming, “I have found some new balls”!  Mr Mike Parker gets a mention again this month for deciding to count his money before playing golf, no wonder he missed his tee time and started from the second.       

This years Captain’s Day winner with an impressive 37 points was Sir Geoffrey Adams, narrowly beating his lover and partner Gordy Tucker on countback. Roger “Helmet” Johns finished with the bronze medal. The nearest the pin prizes went to Rob “FYO” Acey, Doug (Stringfellow) Marsh and Jamie (2 dances for £20) Lake. Longest drive went to the Captain (again Rusky). The 2’s were shared between The Tweed, Roger Johns and The Wee Man Bobba

Congratulations and thanks to all for a supporting Captain’s Day and I look forward to seeing you all next month at Wareham. 

Captain Flower

Whitbread Shield Pairs Competition

Canford Magna

April brings the ROGS just down the road to Canford Magna and the annual pairs competition. The pairs traditionally provide a unique challenge of teamwork, course management and motivation. The ROGS style of pairs consist of abuse and barracking of your partner at every opportunity, groans when you get paired with a golfer who doesn’t want to share a buggy and of course partnering Jeff (allergy to mahogany) Adams knowing you will be buying all the drinks after the round.

The normal draw was done and with the sun on our backs, the competition was under way. Canford Magna provided a stern but fair test for the pairs with a strong breeze adding to the challenge. As ever during any ROGS event, the misfortune of any tails of woe seems to spread across the golf course before any great play. The day’s main beneficiary of abuse was Mike (don’t tell the wife) Parker. After playing several holes of faultless golf, Mr Parker noticed that his clubs looked slightly different than normal. The pink headcovers with matching umbrella coupled with mirror and make-up holder on the golf trolley should have indicated that he was playing with his wife’s clubs! The comments from his playing partner unfortunately cannot be printed however the individual likened Mike’s golf swing to a part of ladies anatomy.   

This years dream pairing and competition winners were Brett Standerwick and Keith Nurrish with a magnificent 50 points. Keith as team captain paid tribute to his partner’s attitude and professionalism, despite being carried the whole way round by his playing partner! This months bridesmaids were the Cheesman and Lake combination finishing second on 48 points, closely followed by Ruston and Keeping on 45 points. The nearest the pin prizes went to Dave Rushton, Rob (Manc git) Parry and Tim Porter. Longest drive went to the Captain. The 2’s money took on extra significance this month with no one winning last month; there was over £60 in the kitty. The Captain after sinking a 10 footer on the 8th was thinking about what charity to donate his money to? Whilst he was deciding, a load shrieking noise coming from the same green disturbed him. Jeff (peel an orange in my pocket wearing boxing gloves) Adams ruined the Captains day by fluking a 20 footer. The Captains day got worse as the pairs arrived back at the clubhouse with Peter (Shotgun) Cheeseman, Dave Rushton and Tim Porter also taking the spoils away from the Captain. Congratulation to all and I hope you can live with your conscience!

Congratulations and thanks to all for a supporting the pairs competition this year and I look forward to seeing you all next month at Meyrick Park for Captains Day 
Captain Flower

GRS Trophy

Old Thorns Golf Club

Spring is in the air, which can only mean one thing. The ROGS are back, but this time they are dress to kill. The sight of the ROGS elite dressed in lycra and plus fours, is a sight to behold! March has taken the ROGS to a brand new venue. Old Thorns is a highly recommended golf course just this side of Scotland! Needless to say geography was not the Captains specialised subject at school, as he thought that Old Thorns was just up the road and not near London. Unperturbed by this, over 30 members packed their rations (extra hip flask and pork scratchings) and headed off to take on the new challenge. One member was particularly concerned boarding the Frenchie Fun Bus. A small white lie to wife is not encouraged within the ROGS ranks, especially when the wife is 9 months pregnant and you have told her that you are only playing 10 minutes up the road! The member will remain nameless to protect his shame but I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Dean “Tiny” Merritt on his new addition to the family on the 4th of April.                

Old Thorns provided the ROGS with a difficult challenge within a beautiful woodland setting with small undulating greens.  It wasn’t long before stories of woe were filtering across the golf course. Most memorable was Russell “Bobba” White having a distinct issue with an approach shot to a raised green. The wee man miss judged the slope to the green 5 times and watched helpless as his ball rolled passed him and further away from the hole on each occasion. Still angered by this, Bobba’s approach shot to the 18th was hit with enough vigour to clear the green, the clubhouse and was last seen down the M3! There are too many stories of woe to mention each month but I will endeavour to share the barracking evenly across the society over the season. So Guy “Deadeye” Storey will not get a mention for his 5 putts on one green!    

The second competition of the year was won by Jim “the arm” Corbin, recording an impressive 35 points narrowly beating off Paul (PABS) Ebsworth and the young talented Captain on 32 points. The nearest the pin prizes went to John Johnson, Roger Johns and the Captain. Our newest member Peter Foster won the longest drive competition. Peter has hinted his reasons for joining the ROGS is not only down to the golf but also to find out who is leading his lovely daughter astray from Bere Regis? The individual he is looking for has been seen several times in the Oak, Drax and Sports Club. He has a striking resemblance to the F.A Cup and is known as “Louie”. Happy hunting Peter!  No one was fortunate enough to win the 2’s money, so £32 will be carried over the Canford Magna next month.

After a meal of cold pasta and sauce, the fun bus was boarded for the long journey home via a take away and several pubs to help ease the ache and pains of the day.

Congratulations and thanks to all for venturing this far away from home. I look forward to seeing you all next month at Canford Magna for the pairs competition.  


Captain Flower

Members Challenge Cup

Sherborne Golf Club

Hard hats at the ready, the ROGS are back for the 2009 season. After three months of intensive winter training and dieting, the cream of the Dorset golfing community descended into Sherborne Golf Club to start the new season. With any new golfing season comes fresh hope and desire that this could be the year you finally get your hands on one the coveted ROGS trophies. Unfortunately after your first tee shot not clearing the ladies tee, you realise that, like last year the golfing fairies have not turned your swing into a thing of beauty and you should of visited the pro shop to buy some more balls!

The weather was kind and the ROGS season was under way with a rasping 45-yard drive from the new captain. Slowly one by one each member dusted off their clubs and attempted to take on the first tricky venue of the year. Ian (Juliet Bravo) Jarred decided to miss out the first 4 holes, such was the confidence in his own ability. Ian however came in with 15 points and collected the first wooden spoon (should of given him a watch) of the season. After 4 hours of blood, sweat and tears, all members arrived back to the safety of the clubhouse to share their stories of woe and misfortune. Stories of Roger (Victor Meldrew) Johns not being amused at 12 players playing a par 3 together and Graeme (Tarzan) Price spending more time up trees and in bushes then on the golf course were rapidly spreading around the clubhouse.

The first competition of the year was won by Martin (King of spoof) Debenham, recording a terrific 40 points narrowly beating off Shaun (wild thing) Brady and the wily grey fox Roger Duncanson. The nearest the pin prizes went to Pete Cheeseman, Russ White and Sir Geoffrey (swearsalot) Adams. The most sort after prize that combines, brawn, skill, looks and charm is the longest drive competition. That was deservedly won by the Captain. The heartbreaking news is that Geoff (peel an orange in my pocket wearing boxing gloves) Adams won the 2’s money.

On behalf of all the ROGS, I would like to welcome our newest member Charlie Way.  Thanks to Bobba’s Blob money, we raised £48 to help support the Captains chosen charity of the Bere Regis Scouts and Junior Football Club. The biggest cheer of the night came when the Frenchy tour bus was given a clean bill of health and new MOT for the new season. This does however mean that a trip to the bank manager will be needed and possible divorce lawyer befriended!  

Congratulations and thanks to all for a successful first outing and I look forward to seeing you all next month at Old Thorns Golf Club 
Captain Flower

Christmas Cup of Good Cheer

East Dorset Golf Club

 Torrential rain, freezing temperatures, yes the ROGS are playing golf again.  The extremes men will go to, to get out of Christmas shopping. It was thermals out, waders on and hip flask fully laden with that something special to give you that warm feeling inside. December typically brings the traditional Christmas fixture and brings down the curtain on another successful ROGS golfing season.

 Led superbly by Martin Debenham throughout 2008, the ROGS have continued to go from strength to strength, with membership up and record attendance from members at many of the monthly fixtures, Martin is handing over the captaincy with the Society stronger than in any other season. The captaincy has now been handed over to me and my able understudy Shaun ‘brew’ Brady. Martin will prove a hard act to follow, showing fantastic dedication, enthusiasm and organisation (not to say patience with some of us!). Thank you very much from all ROGS members for a memorable season.

 Traditional the Christmas fixture is played at Bulbury Golf Club.  This however was not to be the case as an early course inspection meant the course was unplayable and only suitable for marine wildlife. A course closing this late would normal mean certain panic and hysteria. It was time for the ROGS very own Fairy Godmother to work his magic. Guy ‘tinkerbell’ Storey within a flash of his wand and several hundred phone calls had us booked in and ready to tee off at East Dorset Golf Club. Over 30 Members turned out to brave the winter elements. Naturally, as so often happens at ROGS fixtures it wasn’t so much a case of tee to flag but tee to woodland, tee to lake, tee to sand or in the case of some, tee to ladies tee!. With both Stableford and a ROGS Ryder Cup matchplay format being played during the round competition was tense, notably between the Ryder Cup captains, led by the outgoing Captain, Martin ‘Faldo’ Debenham and incoming Captain, Julian ‘Azinger’ Flower. New Captain Flower choose a team with a mix of talents, a subtle blend of experience and old age, enthusiasm and drunk!  A team on paper that looked very good, and with 3 games to come in, Team Flower were 3 up and unbeatable. All that was needed was a half from any of the last 3 games to claim a deserved victory and bragging rights for the year. It was at this point the new inexperienced Captain made his first school boy error of his reign. On his third chorus of ‘We are the Champions’ all remaining games went against the Captain and the match ended in a tie! After several helpings of humble pie it was time to shake hands declare the match a draw and move on to the evening festivities. 

 In the evening, ROGS members were joined by family and friends for our presentation night, the night saw the formal presentation of all the seasons trophies, a raffle and disco accompanied by an extremely tasty Christmas lunch. The raffle raised a magnificent sum of £380.00 that will be donated to the Bere Regis Scouts and Youth Football Team. Many thanks to all the ROGS members and local businesses who kindly donated some great prizes allowing us to raise the sum we did. 

Congratulations to all the individual winners from today’s event.  Peter Foster and Graeme ‘pantsdown’ Price both won the nearest the pin prizes. Tich ‘wildthing’ White for winning the longest drive prize. Over £60 was in the kitty for the 2’s. 3 fortunate golfers shared the fortune, Robert Debenham, Peter Foster and Geoff ‘pottymouth’ Adams, and yes Geoff did not buy a drink with his winnings!

Pride of place on the day went to Graeme ‘ishouldbewearingamask’ Price who won the stableford competition with an incredible 48 points, closely followed by Simon ‘worm’ Scott and Dean ‘tiny’ Merritt.

 Although we highlight some of the humorous, less fortunate circumstances that fall upon us members whenever we venture onto the golf course, the past season has seen a sharp increase in scoring and overall improvement in the level of golf played, a high percentage of members have seen their handicap fall which is the aim of the game after all. Well done to all members who truly believe in the practise will one day make perfect principle… I look forward to reporting on our continued improvement next season.

Captain Flower